"I know I could lie but I’m telling the truth Wherever I go there’s a shadow of you I know I could try looking for something new But wherever I go, I'll be looking for you. Some people lie but they're looking for magic. Others are quietly going insane I feel alive when I’m close to the madness No easy love could ever make me feel the same." - One Republic
People say they move on from the past, but yet it's not true. Maybe they moved on, got a tattoo, and even saw Baloo, but deep down inside we never forget. I remember my past a lot these days and I wonder why. Some say it's because I can't move on and others say it's because I have anxiety and that I don't want to take a chance and see what's out there. I look and what I see is nothing. I go running and all I see are the BLVD of broken dreams. Nobody is what they want to be. They say they're happy with their lives and that it's okay if things did not go the way they wanted them to be. Who the heck wants that? Who wants to work and work for something that is nothing. Who wants to work and only to be fired in the end? That's all I see. Maybe it's because that is what happened to my family. Maybe that is where the hurt comes.maybe it's because they chose to act a certain way, that is why I act the way I do. I'm not them and they're not me. I know deep down inside they must think I'm a failure even though I try so hard, but for all the wrong things. No, I don't do bad things. I just spend time being loyal and trying to please all when you know it's gets you nowhere. You can't do things because you are suppose to. You have to do things because you want to. If you don't know what you're fighting for then there really is no point. I felt like that has happen to me. I do everything because I'm suppose to, but in the end I get frustration. Who cares. It's called life, but life is not suppose to be endured. It's suppose to be enjoyed.
Who cares because this post has nothing to do with the quote and what is this quote all about? It's about the people from my past. wherever I go I always remember you. From Chelsey, to Jenny, to Cydni, to Stacia, and even to AK47 I still remember you. Some I never even dated and some are now married/engaged, but the girls I meet now don't even make me feel the same. Maybe it's depression or maybe it's fear of rejection, but the ladies I meet now don't make me feel like there could be progression. Why would a girl want a guy who worries himself sick? A person who can't be everything you want him to be? That's been my life motto, wait until you're something or until you have it all. The more you wait, the more frustration you get. I wonder why I don't just ask out the girls I'm interested in. I wonder why I don't take a chance. Then I realize who wants to experience everything all over again? Especially when it does not work out. That's all I ever dreamed of was being with a person that liked me back. That's my dream. I always thought once you met that person, you move on together, but as time goes by, I feel like I'm wasting my opportune time. This time is my time. I don't have any other time. one of those girls above always comes to my mind. I know she has a list, but I don't care about her list because I like her. I feel like I should take and chance and ask her out, but she scares me at times. Why do I let me fear decide my fate because it's just a date. Why do we get angry? dating is just dating, but like I said before most of us are Disney fans and we always think everything is going to be happily ever after. Life is not like that. People die, people cheat, and people do other things that are not so great, but there is still good in this world and that's worth fighting for. Making people realize there is still good is what life is all about. It's not about us and when we figure that out, maybe things change and maybe they don't, but you have to keep going because good always wins in the end. Nothing lasts forever. Everything is temporary so maybe I should take a look and realize that we are blessed to be blessed with blessings upon bless.
