I was told when a girl hurts you in ways you can't understand you just say next. I tried that, but in the end I still can't get over losing. There are days I forget, but then I realized I lost the girl I wanted most, but she did not want me. Probably because I could not give her what she wanted. A future. I hope your lawyer (Harvard [baller]) friend gives you what you want. Actually  I hope they never work out. It hurts when you lose, but when you reflect on your life and you realize you are probably the loser and no girl wants to be with that. It hurts. It even hurts more when the girl you once had feelings for has to try to talk to you, just so she can feel good about her own self. Thank you (like you're even going to read this Ms. L [you're still great]) for texting me and bringing back the sting of failure. I know whatever I do, I'll never be good enough. I hope you find a guy who treats you well. Who cared the way I cared about you. It hurts, but to not say you were not great would be a lie. Any guy would be better person with you. So deep down inside my anger I do care, but I don't want to see your happiness. I don't want to see anyone's happiness. Why? It hurts like Hell to realize you can't have what they have. A future. A plan. Hope. All I see is wasted time and that whatever I did it's never good enough. People don't care. They let you down. They say they're your friend, but their definition of friends is not what I see. Talking to someone on their birthday is not friends. Talking to someone for ten minutes is not friends. It's okay, people are just people. They are like frosted flakes. They all have the potential to be great, but most of the times we don't reach our true potential and we become soggy and when  we leave the earth with music still left to play.

Yes, we all have the potential to be great. Nobody is better than anybody. When things don't work your way. You can't sit and fester the pain because it gets you nowhere. I have learned that the hard way. It's hard to let go especially when you feel like you lost the game. I learn that dating/life is not a game. Still to me it is especially when a girl breaks my heart. I feel like I lost. I want to get even. I realize having anger towards pointless things get you nowhere. So I guess the best thing to do is just run away. I run so far away and could not get away because my thoughts come back. Then I see her face and it stings more. The dream is to move on on find things and become a better person. Maybe one day she will see that you were great. Why the hello does it matter? If I proved some girl wrong and reached my full potential? I did not come to this earth to prove other people wrong. I guess I came here to reach my potential and learn. To help others. I guess the only person I am suppose to prove my potential to is the man upstairs.....He sent me here to do what he sees in me.  In the end that is all that really matters....Yet it is still good to prove people from your past wrong and see that your were great and good enough. That's what gives me hope to rise each and every day. ha ha ha ha - JM (a raller in my mind, not in reality)