Life is like the NCAA Tournament because sometimes you think you're the best, but then when you play you can't even get out of the first round. You wonder why because you worked so hard and you have potential. Maybe it's because the other team worked as hard as you too and they  wanted it more. After the loss you tend to reflect on the failure. Most of the times it only lasts of few days. Then days can turn into weeks, months, and even years. Then you start to dwell of what you were in the past and it consumes you preventing you from moving forward.

Some people say whatever. Yet I don't because this is a example of me. A person who dwells on the things in the past. I once was a chirpy person and knew I had lots of potential. After certain experiences I started to dwell on the negativity of life. I became so bitter because I know that I had potential, yet I let the fear of failing get in the way. So now I look outside my front window and see my neighbors who are living the way a twenty something should live.

Then I look at my back door neighbors and see them. They are young just like me. They have a house and kids and I tell myself what the hello am I doing with my life. I say I'll do something, but fear gets in my way. It consumes me and ruins me. The fear started to happen when I was an intern in college. They loved me, but I was always afraid of messing up. So I worked hard hoping they would hire me. In the end they told me to go for my dream and don't waste my time there. So I went back to my thoughts that I'm never good enough.

Yes, it's true I think I'm never good enough because the day I realized that I'm immortal and have to die, is the day I started to worry. The worrying consumed me and I would ask people their ages not because I want to know how old they were. It was because I wanted to compare my life to their life.

What you learn is that they have moved forward and you're still at the same mentality since you were eighteen. Maybe that is like hell is like because you have to see everyone get their glory and redemption yet you are stuck in the same rut that is considered an everlasting hell. 

 That's okay because maybe these  thoughts help me become a better person. They have because it makes me realize that I should care more about people. Since I have a hard time moving forward I feel that I have become a better observer. I can tell when people are sad, frustrated, and lonely. Yet I never go and talk and try to help them. Maybe I should, but I never do.

That's a lot like life because if you never do, you will never move forward. In the end you are the one that controls your destiny. If you say you can't then you probably never will move forward. I observe that you just have to take one small step and great things can happen. When you're down in the pits of failure that is the time to go and help people and show them their greatness. When you do that, that is when you start to realize your own potential and how great you really can be....