Shattered

Dreams don't come true and most of the times they never will. We give them up because we either we settle for what we have now or we just don't believe in ourselves. Or people tell us we suck and so we quit and never try. My dreams were shattered years ago and to be honest they were unrealistic dreams. That is what is so sad about life because when you are young, you think the world is great and that nothing can stop you. As you grow older you start to realize that those dreams were stupid and that there is no way you will actually achieve those dreams. I sit here and type and yet I am doing nothing with life. I often wonder if I'll ever make it, but usually I don't and never will. Why would I be so negative, at such a young age? It is simple because people never have given me the opportunity to believe. However, you can't put your fate on people, you have the power to control your own fate. That is what I realize, but I still can't become what I want to be and it is sad because you know you can, but the thoughts come back and you really don't think you can. I often hide my true feelings and if I ever did show them, it would not matter because people don't care. They don't and if you said to me that they do, I hardly would believe them. Most people care for one thing and that is themselves and you may sit here and read this and want to argue, but it is true. We all help people, but sometimes we do it for the wrong reasons. I have, but who cares because nobody cares and why would I write such negative things? I choose to react the way I feel and we have the power to change, but how many actually do. Seriously most people never change and they do for a few weeks and months, but they go back to their old ways. Sometimes you think they can, but most of the time they don't. It's not, that I am trying to be depressing, but this is how I think at times and I know I should not be like that. I should have hope, but it is hard to have hope at times because sometimes you go nowhere in life. I have not got to where I want to be, I just graduated from college, but I have not progressed in anything. I still feel like I am in high school at times and it is sad to see the people your age move forward. It's like I have regressed and they have all tasted the goodness of life. I have just tasted the failures of life and it's a bad taste, but it is my own fault. Everything is your own fault when things don't go your way and that is what I realize and I realized people should not feel bad for me because it is my fault and if I really wanted to change then I would. I never do, I go back and settle because of fear. Fear is a swear word I can't say, but it destroys you and it messes you from reaching your full potential. So when I talk to people I tell them they can because I believe that they can and yet I never believe in me and it is sad. I see their potential, but I never see mine, but who cares because that is life and if I never man up, then I'll never get to where I want to be. I have learned we can be what we want to be, we just have to work for what want to be. At times life may be lame, but that is the purpose of life. It is to rise above and while you rise, you should bring others up with you because I don't I want people to ever feel like I have and if they do, I'll raise them up and tell them what I see in them. If I never make it, then I am really not trying. I have observed that if you try, you'll get somewhere in the right direction. It may take years, but I know that in the end I'll be what I want to be.