Life is never easy and sometimes we make it more difficult then it really is. We let fear get in the way and we also never believe in ourselves. I have come to the conclusion that life is not really that hard and that you can be anything or become anything, as long as you believe in yourself. For me this is the hardest thing I ever have to do because I often sell myself short and say I am never good enough. When I fail my expectations I think everyone is mad at me and that it is not okay to screw up. That is what I have lived with over the years and it is no way to live a life. Trying to be perfect is not the way to be and focusing on your problems is not the way to be. People may read this and think I don't really think like this, but I do. It has ruined me, I have not lived life to the fullest. I have lived my life worrying about all the things that could happen. I think about things so much that I get sick at times. I wonder why I do that, but I realized if you fail, you can't be scared because it is okay to mess up. That is why I have lived in a shell because of fear and the thought of failing. I really do wish I could see what people see in me because at times the only thing I see is a person that tried to do things for other people, while never going for my dream. That is one thing I always think about when I am at school or at work. I sit there and think and wonder if it is all worth it. Or should I just drop everything and go for the dream. People say it is dumb, but why be miserable if life is so short. It may be smart to get degrees and work jobs that pay well. However, they will never make you happy, if they are not your dreams. I dream and I realized that being here in Utah is not my dream. I am not all about money and becoming rich. I am about doing what I love and using my talents to make people happy. I have realized that nothing I have done in school and work has really inspired people. That is okay because I don't have to be something to change people's lives. I just have to treat them that I care and show them how I truly feel. It is amazing how people are there for you when you need them most. It makes you realize that life is not so bad and that you can't be afraid. When you do make it, you need to inspire others as well because that is the purpose of life. I realized that even one person can change your life. Most of the time that is when you meet the girl of your dreams. I have not found my future wife or anything, but I have met girls that I truly cared for and they made me a better person than I am today. I realized that every girl is special no matter what they do and what they look like. Even if it does not work out, it's okay because that is the purpose when it comes to dating. You sometimes wonder if it is fate when you meet certain girls. You wonder if God is trying to help you out or if it is just random. That happened to me the other day. I met this girl I worked with and wondered if I would ever see her again. The crazy thing is I did, she happens to go to the same church I go to. I don't know if that is fate or just a random thing , but I realized if it is nothing that's okay because she is a great person. You can't worry if it does not work out or anything. You can't worry when or if you will get married. You can't worry about what you will do for a job. All I know you have to do is worry about what you can do for others. When life gets dark and dreary, the best thing is to forget about you and help others. It does not matter if I become rich or ever get married. To me, all that matters is who I helped make a better person. That is what I really want to do in life and I don't care if I never make it because if I could change or save a person's life, then it won't matter what I have become. So when I move forward all I need to do is focus on others because it does not matter about anything else. It is good to have money and to be successful, but if you never do anything to change the world with your talents, then life is a waste.