Just wait for the opportune moment

I was talking to this one person about life and how certain things happen. They said why do what is right when there are so many other people who do what they want and go off the path and come back. He said it does not matter if you tried to do the right things your whole life because you can always repent. I realized that is a point you have to consider when things don't go your way.

There are times when you wonder if doing the right things is worth it because there are times when nothing changes. You get stuck and you see people that are not really that good and have all the fun and come back and you wonder if your choices were worth it. I often think about that because I have worked hard in life and I have not seen benefits from working hard. I have also done the right things in life and I have not seen any real good things come out of that.

When things do not get better, it can be discouraging, but I have realized we just have to keep moving along because everything will work out in the end. Most of us can't see it and do not believe things will work out when we are down and frustrated. They do, we just have to keep trying and doing what is right. I know that it is hard to do the right things, but I know that if you do what is right, you will eventually be blessed in this life. It can take years and that is when we have to have patience because the purpose of life is to be tested.

People can say it is not, but life is a test. It is to become stronger than we were the day before. We are supposed to learn when things don't improve. We can't just sit and think it will get better. I have learned we have to be doing and that we have to believe it will change. The best way to change is to keep trying each day. I know that helping people is the most important thing to do when we are down and things don't go our way. That is what this guy I was talking to does not do. He only is concerned about who he should blame. I have learned that gets you nowhere and that we can't focus on what other people do because we are at our own levels in this life. If we worry about what other people don't do or say, then we are no better than them. We need to focus on who to help and what we can do in this life to make it better.

If we do those things, I know our own lives will improve. It may not improve drastically, but it will improve. That is what people have to realize; we can't compare ourselves to other people because we are at our own levels and we are all trying to get to the same destination. I think that is what we have to realize when we are with others. We are the same and we have similar problems and realize that we are here to to help people and not to bring them down. Everything can get better and if it doesn't right away or never does, we can still help others and inspire people. I know that is the small things that change people's lives and I think once we realize these things, our own lives can change.

I wrote this for everyone because this is who I really am.

I sit and watch and yet it never changes or I don't change. They say doing all the right things makes you better, but that is not true. I am still sitting and waiting and I have been doing that for awhile and to me it will never happen. I still feel judged and I feel that people are afraid to be a real friend. I meet people, but I have observed that most people have something against me or they really think I am a jerk. There have been times when I am at church or other social settings, where I deliberately sit alone and what I have found out is that people never say a word to me at all . It often bothers me because it's me or people just don't like me or they are afraid to say something because I don't really talk.

I have come to the realization that nobody cares and that most people only care about one thing and that is themselves. It is true and it is true for me as well. If you seriously think about it, we always think of ourselves first and what we don't have. These are the things that go through my mind as I have been isolated from socializing for the past five years. I wonder why should I get what I want when there are others out there who need help. Yet I tend to focus on me and when I do it just makes me more frustrated because I don't feel this great sense of belonging anywhere. My church that I attend is a bunch of cliques and they can say that they are not, but they are. They exclude people and they don't make people feel welcomed. It bothers me , but then I come to the point where I have realized that I can make a difference and who the hell cares if they are stuck up and set in their ways.

I see people like me that are not welcomed in church and other places and I always say to myself that someone else will help them and it's not my responsibility. It is because we are all people and if we say we feel unwelcomed, then we should do things to make people feel welcomed. That is what I don't do and I often need to realize that I can. Anybody can help anybody it does not have to be great. It can be a simple hi or a invite. That is what I don't do and yet I wonder why I am the way I am. It is simple I choose the way I want to be, nobody can tell me how to live or how to think. So if you really want to change it ultimately comes down to you.

I would also say that you need people to help because it is hard to do it alone. I have done most things alone that past few years and it has not been fun. What keeps me going it the hope that it will get better, but there are times when I don't see it, yet I keep pushing along because I believe that I can make a difference and I believe that anyone can make it and we have to be there for others and not just ourselves because people need each other. People make life more meaningful and they have to power to change people's lives. I think everyone needs to realize that because we can help others, even though we can't see how we could.

When I get down and frustrated, I need to realize that there are other people that I could help and that my problems are only temporary and that the purpose of life is to be challenged, so we can reach our full potential. Sometimes we don't get the dreams of our dreams, but I have realized that sometimes the things we often dream about our not the most important things in this life. The most important things is basically helping people realize their full potential and making them better than they were before.