Ever After

I see and yet I see myself and where have I gone? Nowhere, it really hurts and who cares because we all fail. Most people don't, I have. I see goobs move forward and other people that are annoying and that is sad. It's ***** and that is all I can say. I don't really believe in friends either, there is no such thing and people who say they are your friends are really not. It's kind of like facebook, they are only there for you when they need you. I don't believe in friends because of my experiences in life. I will admit I have been a crappy friend at times, but who cares they got to move on in life and they did not need me. I needed people at times, but they forgotten me and I don't care anymore because you get in the rut and you just say it's okay, even though it is not. The real me does not see it ever changing and that is my own fault, but who cares because everyone has problems.

I also don't really believe that there is someone out there for me as well. I know people say all the BS about just keep trying and it will all work out. I am sorry, but I have worked hard in life and all I have seen is goob people get the girls and yet I'm on the pine getting splinters. It is my fault and that is what everyone will tell me. There comes a time in you life when you need help, but there is no one there to reach for you. So these experiences make me not care. There are times when I am at work I don't care because I don't give a crap about them because of all the stuff that goes through my mind. They enjoy life, while I waste my life doing crap for what? I don't know anymore, I thought doing all these things like going to college and doing what is right would improve your life. Mine has not, I meet people, but that is not what I want. I want to meet people that are into me. Like girls, I am tired of meeting girls that are just dumb. I don't really meet a lot because I am shy and that will never change either. I say it will happen, but is still has not. I am no ugly man, it's just I can't open up when I am around people. I'm sorry, that is not who I am. So I try to be funny, but being funny is overrated at times. I have come to the realization I will never meet any girl that is really into me. I meet phonies and girls that are just lame. I'm sorry I don't want to play stupid games with a girl. I just want to meet a girl that likes me and I like her and take it on from there.

I usually end up meeting girls that are in relationships or say they are dating someone. All I have to say to that is leave me alone. Sometimes you meet these people and they are weird and you want to ask them why they are not married if they have been together for such a long time. I am not trying to be rude, but if I found a girl I was into, I sure won't waste my time trying to figure out if it is right. There comes a time when you realize it is right and you just take it from there. I am sorry, but I feel like people in this world have to make it so hard. If you found someone that you know you love, then why not get married. That is all I have, I am tired of seeing people that have been together forever and do nothing about it. It just makes no sense and I don't even know why I care. Maybe because I want to feel what they have. I feel nothing. All I feel is negative, pain, hopeless and the great thing that always sticks in my mind, never good enough.