The real me

I have a deep passion for running. It’s the only thing I look forward to doing everyday. I see many things when I run, but that is not what I am really thinking about. I don’t notice the beautiful things people see when they run. I am not paying attention to those things.
My mind is on other things such as my own problems or songs that can’t get out of my head. One song that always plays in my head is the song by One Republic which is “Stop and Stare”. I relate that song to my life and when I run because I may be moving, but in reality I have gone nowhere.

I am still in Utah and in college and I think to myself when I run that there is so much more to life than just doing the same thing over and over again. So I have that song playing in my head sometimes because I feel like in a sense I have gone nowhere and that I should be somewhere better than I am today.

I think we all think that about ourselves sometimes. We wondered what could have been if we did something else or made a small decision. These are the thoughts that go through my mind when I run.

I also feel isolated and alone when I run. There could be other people out there on the streets, but I still feel alone because I am by myself. I also think about my own life that I am alone. I have no one really to talk to. I have family, but they don’t understand what I am feeling. I am the point in life where you like your family, but you don’t really want to be around them. You want to be with other people such as a relationship with a girl. So I do feel alone sometimes because I have no girl right now and I always wondered what it is like because I see couples my age and they always seem so happy.

I also have the feelings of being alone when I run because I run late at night or early in the morning. I don’t see anyone except for the darkness that surrounds me. It is scary at first, but after awhile it makes me feel more powerful because I am more dedicated to running than most people. Sometimes it is good to be alone because you feel like you are the only person in the world and everything is quiet and peaceful.

I may have thoughts of loneliness and isolation, but I do have good thoughts which are the thoughts that make me motivated to run. Sometimes I may wonder if it is worth it. When I beat someone in a race or running on the streets it gives me that joy that I am good. People may say that is wrong, but deep down inside everybody likes competition.

I am a competitor and that is what I am usually thinking most of the time when I run. I think I am faster than most people and if there is a car that is close to me, I dare them to come hit me in my mind because I have that sense of invincibility when I run. I think it is good to have because we all need to be passionate about something in life. That is what I love doing and I want to be the best and sometimes I have setbacks like injuries, but that is part of running. I won’t quit because my goal is to win a race and I am willing to put my body through pain because I want to win.

Sometimes I do not win and I get injured worse and sometimes I compare that to life. We might have setbacks, but we should not give up because if we do quit, we go nowhere and I know we always have to keep moving forward. I know that if we always keep moving forward, just like in running, we will get to where we want to be in life.