never

I'm good looking and any girl would want to date me and they don't really care what I drive and what I do as long I plan on moving forward and doing the right thing. That is a bunch of crap, I don't believe in anything anymore. I'm the same and I will never get better. Whatever I do it's never good enough, so why would I enjoy life. It is not fun, it never has and it never will be. I have hope, but those things never come true. I am sick of it and I can't take the isolation crap anymore. I get to enjoy watching people move forward, why I can't even get to place next door. I may move forward in other things such as school and running, but that does not mean crap especially when you are alone. I can't talk because I get so nervous and that is not normal and I feel like everyone is my competition and they think they are better than me. This irrational thinking destroys me and I can't move forward. No one cares anyways because I realized people don't give a crap what happens to me. Nobody would know if I was gone, but who cares because I am nothing. Just a number to this world. It's my fault and it is and everything is my fault and that is why I don't move forward because of me and not you or anyone else in the world. I am the reason for my shortcomings, but I just need a little help, but I realized nobody cares and why should they care about me because nobody cares about me, but my family. Why do I think that? My whole life I have never done anything. I just worked and that ruined me. I need to socialize and if there is anyone out there help me or just pray for me that one day I'll reach my full potential.