I wonder why people get mad when things don't go their way. I always wondered that because sometimes in life, things don't work out. Sometimes you don't get the dream you always wanted or the girl you always wanted. Or it's the other way around, when a girl likes you, but you don't see yourself liking her. Those things hurt and it hurts when people are mad at you just because you don't like them like that. Sometimes it was not meant to be. I don't have experience in this because I truly have never liked someone. I liked girls, but never has there ever been a girl that has made me want to put childish things away and become a man. ha ha

I just don't comprehend that thought. I don't see myself ever liking a girl forever or until death. I don't see how it's possible. It may sound negative, but it's true. The people I know dream of that. Where they can be with that special someone for the rest of their life. I had the dream once, but it went out years ago. I don't see how someone could love you forever. It has never made sense to me. So has the thought that once we get married, we will be happily ever after. I don't get that either because there is no such thing as that in this life because one day you are going to have to die. That may sound sad, but it's true and why should I worry about my life, if there are so many people on this earth that need more help than I do. Does it really matter if I get what I want? I don't know, but I realized true happiness is not found in marriage. It is, but in reality it's not the most important thing on why we are here. Sometimes I wonder why we are here at this time because the world seems like it's falling from greatness to mediocrity. I guess things happen for a reason, but I can't worry about what the world does or how worse it can become. I have to worry about what I can do. What I can do is look for the good and make people realize their true potential. As I write this my body feels bad, maybe it's because I am bad or never good enough. Who really knows why I feel the way I do, but one thing I know is anybody can make a difference. Anybody can inspire somebody or something. It just all has to start with you.

It hurts when you are on the outside and wanting to get in. What you see inside is something you always wanted, yet you will never have. I don't believe in happy endings and never will. Maybe for some, but to me there is no happy ending. Just that sad realization that you wasted your time and wonder why you could have done. That is why I can't look inside anymore. I just see everyone else moving and having a good time. Yet I'm alone on the outside wondering if I'll ever come in. usually I don't. I let opportunities pass me by and one day I'll be there wondering what the hell happened. Life is what we make it, but I still don't believe in people. I never do. They fail me or I fail them. Some try to let me in, but I just put them out. I watch everyone else get there happy ending, yet I never have mine. I say it's going to come together, yet it never does. I sit here and wait and wonder what I wait for. I have seen people I care for pass on and girls I really cared for move on. They moved on alright, but it was without me. I realize it's my fault and I never did a thing. Just hoped for the next move, yet I realized in life you can't stop and stare because you really will go nowhere.

It truly never gets better. People say it does, but I can't be young forever, so how can it get better? It really does hurt when you look in the window and see your friends. Yet you are out there in the cold just sitting and waiting to get in. I guess you can't put your focus on people because they are people and people are not perfect. There is one person that is always willing to let you in. No matter how bad we screw up in this life. He is just sitting there waiting to let you in and to embrace you and to show you who you really are. Yet at times we never let him in. When we do let him in, that is when we realized the failures and shortcoming of life are not so bad because it's just a minor thing in the grand scheme of things. I realize I can't be down and no matter how crappy life can get or we think it is, we can always make a difference because there are people out there on the outside just like us. All we need to do is open our eyes and look...........

It hurts when you can't even get to the first round. It even hurts worse when you sail your own ship and get stuck in a rut. It even hurts more when a girl goes for some goob. Or on second thought you start to wonder if you're the the goob. When you realize that, that is when you start to go backwards in life. Life is supposed to be about moving forward, but moving forward makes us get closer to the end. Our bodies fail us, just like our hearts. If there is a point to it all, then why do we fail and never come back. So when you fail and people say the truth, it hurts like an arrow to the knee. Why do we get offended when people tell us the truth? Maybe because we don't want people to see that we are weak and that in reality we are all talk and don't know what the hell we are doing. It's sad, kind of like this life. It may get better, but usually never does. It's just the same stuff, but a different way and if you don't do stuff for anybody, then you most likely will fail in the next life. The next life will be great, but to get there you have to be perfect here on earth. Well, According to some religions you do. I thought you could make it, but realized it's impossible at times. You have to be good enough, yet we never are. We settle and focus on ourselves and even if you are good, it's never good enough. I tried and tried, but did not try hard enough. So if I do get judged for what I did not do on this Earth, I should not be sorry because I had a chance, but wasted it on what I should have, would have, and could have done.

It hurts when you wake up everyday and do the same old garb and have no meaning. Life was supposed to have meaning, but fear got in my way. Fear that you won't be here forever and that you already wasted the good part of your life. They say life is always good, but that's a lie. It is only good if you think that and that is why people don't like me because I see the glass empty and don't see it's potential. People are people and yet they don't understand me. They say I'm sad, but you don't know me. Maybe I look sad or even mad, but do you really know who I am? I may sound sick because of this rant, but I'm not sick. I'm just a person who had potential and seems to be wasting it every day. The truth does hurt because it's sad to realize that you have become what you do not want to be. People wonder why I get down, it's because they bring me down. They don't raise me up and forget about me. I should not care because I should forget my problems and help others. It's hard to, especially when you don't move forward. There is still that thing inside me that still has hope. My veins still pump with blood and I have a pulse. I still have the drive (even though it's dying at times) to show people up and become what I am supposed to be. I should not compete with others, but my whole life people never believed in me. SO I feel I have something to prove. You may sit here and laugh, but don't laugh because I don't forget and I remember the things people say and I do have something to prove. It does sound bad and it's bad to be like this, but that is who I am. Thank you to everybody who never believed in me. I may be a loser at this current time and one day I might make it, but in the end it does not really matter about garb like that. All that matters is who I helped bring back to the fold. Yet I never do and that is sad because that is truly the meaning of life.

The End

Every time the year ends, people have some grand idea of what they want to do or be the coming year. Most of the time the things people want is about them and how they can make their life better. I came to the conclusion yesterday that this life is not really about us. It's about others. So maybe we should focus on helping our friends or that one person who really needs help. I am selfish person as well. I always think of me first and the other day a person told me their problems and it made me have have a epiphany. The thing that came to my mind is that we are really here to help others and to help bring them up. My problems are nothing and usually they're meaningless in the big picture of all things. The real purpose of life is to help others, yet we never do. Everything in this life of what we become is all meaningless if we truly never helped anyone indeed. Everything ends, just like us and it made me realize that there has to be a bigger picture than me. Even if you are not religious, you still have to think that there has to be some meaning to life. If there is no point to life, then what is the point to life. I guess that is the hardest thing we will have to experience on earth because we can do whatever we want. We can be bad or we can be good. I don't know sometimes why we are here. I know deep down inside, but sometimes I wonder if I have a purpose or if everything in this life is a coincidence. Yet there probably really is no coincidence because everything is fate and everything that has and will happened, has happened for a reason. Sometimes we don't get what we want and maybe we never will. At times that is hard to grasp, but I have learned that you can't focus on what you don't have. You have focus on what you can do. I think when you forget about you and start to worry about others, that is when life has more meaning. So when you see someone down or see their frown, you have to step up and tell them what you see in them and what their potential can be.......

Sic- we were meant to live for so much more.

"Meant to Live"That song always had meaning to me when I first heard it and it still means something to me today. We are all meant to live for so much more. Yet we settle and don't believe we can. I have realized that no matter where we are in life, we can always can do better than we think we can. Things may happen and we may not be at where we want to be in this life, but I have learned you can never give up. You can't compare yourselves to others because we are all at different places in this life. Some may leave sooner and some people may leave this life later than others. What we are here for is very simple. It is to help people realize their true potential. It does not matter what kind of money we make. All that matters is we made the people we were in contact with better than they were when we first met them. Life does suck and sometimes it seems pointless, but there is something here that we are supposed to do. I don't know what, but I think we are to inspire others and learn ourselves. We are here to learn that we are all the same. We all have the same kind of problems and same fears, but you things like where we are from and all that other jazz get in the way. I think when we leave this life, we realize the true meaning and realize what we did do and did not do. SO I guess the main thing is to never hold back because if you do, you might end up being bitter.

Life

What is the purpose of life? Some say it is to live it up and do what you want to do. Others say it is to make it better than you left it. Sometimes it all makes sense, but most times life is not what we think it will be. It is sad that nothing can be the same. It never just stops, it keeps going until your hourglass run outs. Most people say they have time to change, but days go to weeks to months and eventually years. Then you realize what have you done and you start to fear. Some of us won't last long and other will be here for awhile and I have learned that the purpose of life is to help others, yet most of the time we don't. I feel bad at times of the way I have acted, but I have to learn that I am only human and that is why I am here on this earth. It is to learn and some people may not believe there is another life after this life. I am certain there is even though I can't prove it to disbelievers. The only thing I can do is live life the way it is supposed to be lived. I have learned it is showing people that you care and that no matter where you are in this life, there is always hope. That is what the great thing about a new day is because with each new day there is hope. We can always change and when people say you can't, you can.

As I walked away from the basketball court tonight, I could taste the bitterness of the blood that was oozing in my mouth. I realized that is like life. Sometimes it does not pan out and that people are never there for you when you are down. Some may be, but I don't think there is anyone out there that has ever gave a shiz what has happened to me. It hurts when people forget about you and you just become that person that people wondered whatever happened to, but they can't even give you a call. I have realized to never put my hope in people because they will let you down and if you try, they will forget because they have important things to do and that is worry about themselves. I have often observed many people in relationships and wondered if I ever will be in one day, but I have realized it won't mainly because I am cynical person and girls don't like people like that. I had hope, but it went out the window years ago when I realized in life that I am going to have to settle and do things I hate. I have worked hard, but sometimes hard work does not get you anywhere and you either have to not let it bother you or you can let it bother you. That is what I have done and it makes me wonder why I can't seem to get back. Maybe it's because I am so used to the same thing and I don't believe in moving forward. Moving forward just means you are getting closer to the end and I do not want to become a has been. I want to be normal, but in this life you don't get to choose and sometimes it is the hardest thing to accept because you don't want to. Some people say life is simple, yet we make it so hard. Some say it is worth it though and others say you get one life to live and that you should live it and do whatever the hell you want to do. It may be true, but I have learned that the purpose of life is not to do what you want to do, it's to do things for others. Yet most of us don't, we fail short of the bar. We tend to reflect on our own problems, yet there are people out there who have it worse than us. Just because you have problems, does not mean you can do a thing. Some person once told me you have to help yourself out before you help others. It's not true because nobody is perfect and you can help people out, even if you think you are not good enough. That is what goes in my mind when I observe others.